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Re: Tears on my face
Readers feel your emotions through this poem. I think this is cool except for the part in which you quoted the lyrics from Boys Like Girls, perhaps you could have ...
Nov 26, 2011 -
Re: The Conspiring Of Fingertips
Brilliant, you presented what we as avid writers, who make use of our senses and power of observation feel at many times. Hold on, look at the second last paragraph. ...
Sep 30, 2011 -
Re: She's gone
Thanks to your poem, I now have a clearer idea of what a guy feels when he pursues/ attempts to capture the attention of a girl who doesn't really want ...
Sep 11, 2011 -
Re: Unheard Screams- a 9/11 Memorial
Very poignant, but how on earth did the protagonist survive if most of the roof caved in above her head? But I like the way you brought out your story- ...
Sep 11, 2011 -
Re: untitled
This is very well-written, filled with the emotions a person would feel in the persona's shoes. However, I do think it would be better if the eighth and ninth lines ...
Sep 11, 2011 -
Re: I Wanted to Change My Name
I love this! That was what my parents told me about my other name. This one is somewhat funny, somewhat light-hearted, yet so warm. "The sun is just one and ...
Sep 10, 2011 -
Re: You died, tonight.
I read your poem, and here's what I think about it. I'm sorry that I think most of the phrases sound really unpoetic or unlyrical. While it's sure good to ...
Dec 31, 2010 -
Re: Don't Ask.~ 2
Thank you for informing me about this continuation! Bethany's character does remind me of an obnoxious girl I knew in high school. Hazel's kind of like my best friend too. ...
Dec 31, 2010 -
Re: Night
Um well, the first line's kind of weird. Instead of putting it in a way like- The sun is just beginning to rise as I type... it's beautiful, I think ...
Nov 16, 2009 -
Re: A Moment
That's a good idea to be carried out in school. Readers sticking notes in books from library before returning them- helps save time and energy searching for good books. May ...
Nov 15, 2009
